*drops food on floor*
germs: go get it! quick!
king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule
my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy
'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”
Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”
*snifts wine* do i detect a hint of grapes?
guess im gonna be tasting some pepsi cola tonight ;))
that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say
do celebrity pets know they’re pets of celebrities
I wish my whole vocab was as great as this line